Soooooooo, I'm at W@l-M@rt yesterday minding my own business, when I'm approached by a very large woman of a different race. Here is the conversation.
VLBW-Excuse me Ma'am you look like a christian.
ME-Nod head as I look for my green beans
VLBW-Well, I'm a born again Christian and the Lord has sent me here to pray for you.
ME-OKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY????
VLBW-Would it be okay if I prayed for you?
ME- I GUESS????????
VLBW-(grabs my hand)
Okay so those of you who know me, know I don't like to be touched, especially by strangers, so not only was it uncomfortable for her to be praying for me in the middle of W@l-M@rt, but to have her holding my hand too...NIGHTMARE!!!! I wasn't sure if I should cry, laugh, run etc...I did nothing, I just stood there.
VLBW-(begins to pray)Dear Lord, this woman needs your blessings and I can feel your power upon us(then the sound effects start) OH YA!!! MMMMMMHMMMMMMMMM, Praise the LORD, AMEN.....I FEEL YOUR POWER LORD.......BRING SOME MORE....OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH YAAAAAAAAA MMMMMMMMMMM HMMMMMMMMMMMM. OH, JESUS Bless this child.
ME-(thinking) What in the Freak is going on? How did I get here? I just want to get my green beans and get out of here. UM.......CRAP! People are starting to stare. AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!! If she wasn't holding my hand I could make a run for it.
Just then a very large BM comes upon us and shoves a can of soup in her face and says, "I found it, let's go!!!"
VLBW- (to me) Oh, that is my husband, and he gets annoyed when I do this, but you can't stop the Lord's work, when you gotta pray for someone, it doesn't matter where you are.
ME-UH HUH!!!
Needless to say that will not be my W@l-M@rt of choice anymore. I don't even think I made it home with my green beans either. DANG IT!!!!
8 years ago
8 comments:
Holy crap, I can't stop laughing! For ALL the people in ALL of Wallyworld for that to happen to.
I'm in complete shock that she actually got your hand!
And praise the Lord, bring some more. Bring some more is my new favorite phrase--EVER.
LOL!!! That is just soooooo hilarious! The fact that it happened to you is just so freakin funny! I can just picture the whole thing and the look on your face! Hi-larious!
I have heard of this trend!!!! Her husband cracks me up even more than you did. HALLE-FREAKIN-LUJAH I gots the soup LETS GO! BTW i love Plano but that wallyworld is weird! Actually mine is weirder but I am just sayin.
LOL!!
Hallelujah thank you Jesus!!!!!! I hear the callin'! I freakin' LOVE IT!!!! Only in the south! When you gotta pray ya gotta pray... I am glad you are finally saved....I was trying to work up the nerve to save you myself but could never find a good segway. Love the husband..here's the soup, lets go befire they a=haul your crazy a@# away!
Audrey sent me to read this story for a great laugh and a great laugh I had! Wal-Mart, the best place to experience this too! Bring some more!!
What sins have you been committing that she felt so strongly to pray for you right then and there?
amy - i'm dying!!! thank you so much for sharing.
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