REALLY?!?!?!?!?!?! SERIOUSLY?!?!?!?!?!

Okay so for some reason there are certain stores I need to stay clear of. I'm not sure why but certain stores either hire only annoying people or have a lot of annoying people in them.
Let me take you back to the year 2002 I had two sweet little boys one just over one and the other just over 3. I had taken my boys to the Barnes and Noble story time and was getting ready to leave the store. We were coming from the back of the store to the front to exit. My boys were a little excited, we had just sat through a story time and they were ready for some fresh air. lol. I let them go ahead of me but kept my eve on them the entire time. They were walking fast, maybe jogging, but not running and doing no harm at all. They turned down an aisle, where a lady was bent over looking for a book and one of the employees was helping her. They were being boys and laughing and giggling. I turned the corner and she looked up at me and said, "YOU HAVE THE MOST OBNOXIOUS CHILDREN I HAVE EVER SEEN!".
I was in complete shock. She was still bent over looking for the book and with out even thinking I blurted out, "Well you have the biggest BUTT I've ever seen!!!!!" and I left the store, vowing never to return.

Now let me fast forward to today, 6 years later, different Barnes and Noble, different city, and I have my husband with me instead of my children. Everything was going great, we found the book we needed, went up to check out and that's where it happened.
The lady behind the counter asked if we had a Barnes and noble card, Jacob said we didn't and didn't need another credit card. She said OH NO this isn't a credit card it's a rewards card. He said OH and started to look at a brochure for what he thought was the "rewards card", but was the credit card one. She starts explaining it and I said, No, we don't need one, we only buy one book a year. She shot me a rude glare, probably cause I shut her down and didn't let her finish her speech. lol. Jacob says,"Ya we don't need one."
I turn around and start looking at some other things in the store waiting for Jacob to be done and I hear her say, in a half-whispered voice, "Here you can take this home and look at it by yourself." It was a brochure about the "rewards card".
I turned around just in time to see her slipping it into our bag.
I was so mad, I rolled my eyes soooooooooooooooooooo hard they almost fell out of my head. AAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Really!??!?!?!?!?!?! I left. I wanted to jump over the counter and karate chop her , but I refrained and went to the car. Jacob comes out a few minutes later, and says, "You're not mad at me are you?" lol.
Apparently after I left, she said, "Now that was funny!"
REALLY?????? WHO does she think she is? Like my husband is not going to tell me she was badmouthing me after I left. Of course he didn't tell me this until after we were far away and I couldn't storm back in and karate chop her.

Jacob did give her the pamphlet back and say no thanks or something, but I wanted him to punch her too. lol.

He just called to make sure I came home instead of going back to the store. HA!!!!!

If The Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me

Lately, I have been finding humor in my life. What am I talking about lately, my whole life has been humorous. I'm really thinking about writing a book. Ha! Now that is really funny, I can barely read one let alone write one. Anyways, here are a few things that have made me laugh lately.

First, when we moved into this house Jacob apparently didn't like the way I was parking in the garage, so he put up a tennis ball hanging from a string to direct me. lol. You know the ones you see in old people's garages. I guess I was parking too close to his car and to the back door. lol. whatever! When the boys asked him why he did this he said, cause mom can't drive. HOW RUDE!!! I haven't taken a mirror off one of our cars in at least 5 years. COME ON!
Anyways, sometimes or actually most of the time I park so that the tennis ball is on the side of my car. When I'm in a hurry it comes into the car and I have to flip it out to shut my door. Well, because most of my life I'm in a hurry, I've driven off quite a few times with the tennis ball in my car and have just ripped it right from the ceiling. I have lost count how many times its happened but it happened again today. The best part is I didn't even notice until I was already headed down the alley and spotted something yellow out of the corner of my eye. DUH!!!!

Next, Brayden is learning quite a few new words in the 3rd grade, and these are not the ones on his spelling test either. Oh and the jokes he comes home with, I honestly can't believe he tells them to me, but glad he does so I can explain to him why they aren't appropriate. lol. Like the ones about the big hairy pickle or the 50 foot snake. It's hard not to laugh and try to explain that that joke should never be repeated. YIKES!!!!

Also, My sister posted a blog about a really good lotion to use, so I went to wal-mart to buy it today. I have had really dry arms from one of my prescriptions I've been taking. I thought I'd give it try. I came home and slathered it up and down my arms and sat down at the computer. Then the burning begins and keeps getting worse. It reminded me of the time I was making salsa and was cleaning up the counter afterwards and without thinking used the paper towel I used to wipe up the counter to wipe my nose and got jalapeno juice up my nose. AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! I immediately called my friend Nobody, with my nose under the faucet and told her to google jalapenos up the nose. Within seconds she had me sticking peanut butter up my nose. AWWWWWWWW the relief.
I almost rubbed peanut butter on my arms but it finally went away. Apparently my skin is very sensitive as well as dry and they put jalapenos instead of aloe in my bottle of lotion. lol.

P.S. I googled funny blog titles and came up with titles for country songs, hence the title of my blog, I just thought it was funny and true. I hate calling people. lol. If I've talked to you on the phone you know you are a true friend. lol.

Likely....Unlikely

Braxton came home with a book he had written at school, titled "My Likely, Unlikely Book".
I thought it was pretty clever, so I thought I'd share.

Likely....I wear shorts.
Unlikely...I got dumped in a garbage can upside down.

Likely...I live in a house.
Unlikely...I can juggle 500 computers.

Likely...I can climb a tree. I can get an A+. I have a piece of paper.
Unlikely...I will fly. I'm as fast as Dash. I can catch 50 footballs at once.

The End.

Im just glad he didn't write it about me, it would probably go something like this...
likely...yell at me today, sleep all day, win the mother of the year award.

unlikely...make dinner, excercise, get off the computer.

Food Storage saved my life...sort of!

You know you've all heard the stories about food storage and how it can save your life etc... or get you through the tough times. I would like to share with you my story.
Do you ever get the feeling someone out there doesn't want you get something done? Today I had that feeling while I was making or trying to make chocolate chip cookies, a new recipe my sister Audrey gave me.
I went to the store yesterday to get the ingredients. Today I was all set and started to make the cookies. I get to brown sugar and can't find it anywhere, so I run to the store. After I'm home I start the recipe again where I left off, I get to regular sugar....I open my canister, nothing. WHAT!?!?!?!?! I search my cupboards, pantry etc...to no avail.
Then I remembered my food storage, I immediately call my sister Wendy and ask her how long sugar lasts, she's been doing a lot of research on it lately and trying to get hers in order. I knew she would know. 20 + years......we have a winner. I've only had mine for five. hip hip hooray. Now I sit with a stomach ache, from all the cookies I've eaten, but it was alllllllllllll worth it. Thank you food storage!

One more thing...

I'm done, now I can sleep all day tomorrow.

Instead of Sleeping ALL day...............

I painted!!! WOOHOO!





and this......



I painted the boy's room too, but I'm gonna wait until we get all the stuff on the walls to post a pic.

Oh and I did this...